Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend v7.0 to Wife v1.0 and noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of new space and valuable resources. No mention of this phenomenon was included in the product brochure. In addition, Wife v1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during system initialization, where it monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night v10.3, Drunken Boys Night v2.5 and Saturday Football v5.0 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected. I cannot seem to keep wife v1.0 in the background while attempting to run some of my other favorite applications. I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend v7.0, but the uninstall does not work on this program. Can you please help me!!!???

Thanks,
A TROUBLED USER
Dear TROUBLED USER,

This is a very common problem men complain about, but is mostly due to a primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend v7.0 to Wife v1.0 with the idea that Wife v1.0 is merely a UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT program. Wife v1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and designed by it's creator to run everything. It is unlikely you would be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still convert back to Girlfriend v7.0. Hidden operating files within your system would cause Girlfriend v7.0 to emulate Wife v1.0 so nothing is gained. It is impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge the program files from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend v7.0 because Wife v1.0 is not designed to do this.

Some have tried to install Girlfriend v8.0 or Wife v2.0 but end up with more problems than the original system. Look in your manual under "Warnings- Alimony/Child support". I recommend you keep Wife v1.0 and deal with the situation.

I suggest installing background application program C:\YES DEAR to alleviate software augmentation. Having installed Wife v1.0 myself, I might also suggest you read the entire section regarding General Partnership Faults (GPFs). You must assume all responsibility for faults and problems that might occur, regardless of their cause. The best course of action will be to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE. In any case avoid excessive use of C:\YES DEAR because ultimately you may have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the operating system will return to normal. The system will run smoothly as long as you take the blame for all the GPFs. Wife v1.0 is a great program, but very high-maintenance. Consider buying additional software to improve the performance of Wife v1.0. I recommend Flowers v3.1 and Diamonds 2K. Do not, under any circumstances install Secretary with Short Skirt v3.3. This is not a supported application for Wife v1.0 and is likely to cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

Best of Luck,
Tech Support
An addition included by a reader:
Comment:

It is my experience that Wife v1.0 only runs on a NewHouse97 platform. Because NewHouse97 does not contain many of the features found in NewHouse04, there is an automatic program call by Wife 1.0 for applications NewKitchen 1.0, Oriental Carpet 6.0, and WallArt 1.0. To support these applications, NewHouse97 requires installation of Decorator 4.2. Of course, Decorator 4.2 requires Cash 2.3 to run. Since Decorator 4.2, when run in conjunction with C:\Yes Dear, fully consumes all the resouces found in Cash 2.3, you will need to refer to the fix that can be found in Chapter 7 of BankruptcyLawyer v2.0, which you should always have on your emergency back-up system CD.